The bear and the salmon…

At work and the random gift basket arrived. There were several, pretty standard items: Various nuts, funky cheese, truffles, etc. Something odd caught my eye – Wild Smoked Salmon. I wasn’t sure if it was not-farm raised smoked salmon OR if it was smoked salmon that was CRAZY. Either way, fish + lack of a refrigerator = bad idea. I brought it over to my co-workers as if I was a five year old during show and tell. I exclaimed, “Look! Fish in a box!” Opened the box and discovered a golden package. Here’s what it looked like:

I was totally having a Charlie Bucket moment. It was as if this was my Golden Ticket! Even Michael was excited!


Now, this is a bit out of focus, but I want to key in on the little label on the package. The message reads: “Do not use if pouch has been punctured or if LEAKAGE is detected prior to opening.” Yes. Leakage. The 2012 “best by” year should have been another red flag, but LEAKAGE? That’s someone wrapping a red flag around your head and attempting to suffocate you. There were some smatterings of laughter… and scene. Or so I thought.

Michael and I hear over the radio, “Yeah, guys. I had to try it. Not a good idea.” I’m thinking to myself, “No. He. Did. Not.” He did. We went over to Ray who decided to lunge out at this salmon swimming upstream. Opening the door, we are overcome with one of the most pungent odors EVER. Michael is laughing. I turn to Ray, “Umm… Gross.” Ray says, “I like salmon. I had to try it.” My man Yoda always says, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Apparently the force is not strong with this one.

We brought up the case of the salmon that the bear should have chucked back into the river throughout the day. I asked Ray what he was thinking and he just repeated that he had to try it. I can only reckon that this was the look on his face after he broke off a piece and was in mid-chew:


Fortune cookie reads: “Read labels and go with your instinct. Failure to do so can result in a really bad taste being left in your mouth.”


~ by Francis Orante on December 27, 2007.

One Response to “The bear and the salmon…”

  1. lol

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